Written Thursday, 3/8/12.
Fatigue is a strong word, and perhaps too strong for me to use, but I do feel more than just tired so I’ll go ahead and say it – I feel fatigued this morning. Last night’s sleep was surprisingly consistent – no wake-ups, like other nights – and yet it left me feeling incredibly drained, like I hadn’t slept at all. I remember having a dream – I was very invested in it, emotionally and mentally, as if I was watching an action movie. Except that I was in the movie, so to speak. I only remember glimpses now: the restaurant kitchen, the wooden chopping block, me compromising its cleanliness by slicing up something unorthodox upon it. A bolt of fabric, I think? Or was it something more substantial, like a shoe? There was a whole lot of tension, a whole lot of suspense. Time was running out. A mission had to be completed. And something else – something that seemed related, and yet flowing in a different story stream – but I can’t remember it now. And then I woke up, alarmed and dazed, shocked awake by the dutiful ringing of my wake-up call, polite yet insistent in the still morning air. My body ached. There were knots in my back, and my legs felt stiff. And yet my quilt and duvet were incredibly neat. I don’t think I stirred a muscle in my sleep. And yet I felt like I had run all night. What had I been doing last night?
Nothing. Except sleeping, and dreaming of course. And yet I do wonder. If I was in a story, I bet a secret agency got a hold of me, and I entered into a deal with them, contracting my physical body out while my inner self slept. By day, I would be normal, and mundane. By night, whilst I slept, another person would inhabit my limbs and trunk and face. And whatever crazy adventures & secret missions she would have, I would not know about. Although sometimes, trace memories can remain – the transfer process is not altogether glitch-free – but thankfully they can be explained away with dreams. No real adventures, Jen. Just silly dreams. Perhaps you shouldn’t have drunk that cup of tea last night.